America, proud of its multiculturalism, might even regard the Korean male-dominated culture as one of its own subcultures?
( The U.S. in 1998 )
While in the United States, I met two Korean women who had been forced to marry because they’d reached an age where Korean women were expected to marry. Due to their circumstances in Korea, they had fled to the United States. This made me think prejudicially, that Korea was a poor country, which lacked regard for human rights.
Regardless, I enjoyed Korean food and often went to Korean restaurants. One day I went to one with Peter. The waitress poured tea for Peter and me. Then she placed the teapot with the remaining tea beside me. Her action made me believe she’d presumed it was natural that the woman should pour tea for the man.
When I went to American restaurants, the waitresses always poured drinks for me first because of the Western tradition of putting ladies first. It was a shock to me that the ways of the Korean male-dominated society were practiced even in the United States, where the concept of gender equality was widely accepted and practiced by law. I wondered why the American government didn’t teach American concepts regarding human rights to its entire population.
After a lengthy time, I grew to understand that America had initially attempted to unify its culture and thought. But they failed in their effort and the country eventually changed its ideology. It began to focus its efforts on respecting the individualities of each ethnicity and culture. I came to realize that America, proud of its multiculturalism, might even regard the Korean male-dominated culture as one of its own subcultures.
Wow it’s pretty embarrassing that a non-Korean noticed such an ugly side to Korean-American culture. I’ve dealt with many Korean-American males whose mentalities were much more dated than my Korean male friends from Korea. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for the few outliers that remain in the rough.
Korean Female
2007/11/12
Shocking.
I think USA-cultural restaurants intentionally act overly traditional to customers in order to give them a ‘real’ Korean experience.
Its like Old Western bars in Arizona. Sometimes, they slam your drinks down on counter to make it spill like the ‘movies’ do.
Jay
2007/11/14
Hi Korean Female,
Here in Japan I often hear of gender discrimination in South Korea as well. So, I am happy to know that you seem to have good male friends there.
japaneseview
2007/11/17
I’ve noticed this as well. I’m an african american female, but my aunt is half Korean and half african american. My great aunt, her mother, still practices her korean heritage even though she is in America. She’s only in her fourties (late) and yet she is more Korean than American despite the fact she has lived here so long.I know the older generation may be more prone to do that, but still. It pains me to see that Korean women have it so hard, they have to be second. She even said herself once that she “prefered to be that way” her husband has long since been dead, but she still clings more heavily to Korean ways than American. My mother was talking to her about Thanksgiving, and what she’d be doing for the holiday. She said herself, “You know I don’t like American food” yet she is now American, and she has been here so long. She visits Korea frequently, she loves her home country. I wonder sometimes if all the freedom America has to offer is too much for her, if she’d prefer it be a male dominated nation, or if she prefers restricted freedoms over vast freedom…
Coinz
2008/01/03
I stumbled upon your blog by accident, and I’ve been looking through your posts.
Well to be honest I think you’re just looking too much into it.
It’s not really so much as gender discrimination or as you put it “human rights” (by the way, that’s a bit strong of a word), but more of a tradition, courtesy and manners.
The men in a Western world will, if they have manners, will allow the “ladies first”. Looking from your point of view, wouldn’t a man be insulted if a woman was served first because it was expected a woman to be served first?
In the end, it’s just manners and being polite. Different cultures have different manners and so it’s hard to pin something down as “gender equality” when it’s a tradition formed long ago.
Victor
2008/02/04
Hi Victor,
First of all, I believe that traditions and cultures can be used as an excuse for any kind of discrimination.
Second, I realize that “Ladies first” is basically a show of manners to for Western gentlemen – it is not to show respect toward women.
Third, “Ladies first” did not originate as a type of discrimination toward men because in the past women were often discriminated in the West as well, but “Gentlemen first” in Asia is a direct result of Asian legacy of gender discrimination toward women, thinking my opinion.
Lastly, perhaps a feminist would think that “Ladies first” is a kind of gender discrimination toward women because the concept is based on the idea that ladies are weaker than men and men should take care them. No?
japaneseview
2008/02/12
For Japanese people, I sort of understand the superiority complex they have over other Asians but their culture has adopted other cultural practices that have been regurgitated as their own.
I would have to agree with Victor. You’re over analyzing a couple of insignificant instances as “gender discrimination’. You don’t have to pour tea for anyone. The truth may be that if there was genuine discrimination, it may have been based on something other than gender.
turkoid
2009/05/05